A Comedy of Eros
by ffpanda
Summary: ShuXHiro Do you really believe Hiro and Shuichi when they say nothing ever happened between them in high school? Me neither. ONESHOT COMPLETE


Title: A Comedy of Eros  
Genre: Smut, Comedy  
Rating: XXX  
Pairing: Shuichi X Hiro  
Warnings: Oral and Anal sex, language  
Summary: Do you really believe Hiro and Shuichi when they say nothing ever happened between them in high school? Me neither. ONE-SHOT COMPLETE  
Notes: Set pre-Depravity  
Written with AshCat  
Disclaimer: The Gravi boys don't belong to me. God I wish they did!

Second period was almost over. Once again, they had cut class to hang out in the third floor bathroom, knowing they were in a wing of the school that was never used for Saturday classes. Shuichi was at the tail end of a rampage about American schools.

"How come they don't have to go to classes on Saturday and WE DO? I don't get it. I mean, they get two days off a week, and we only get one!"

Hiro furrowed his brow in concentration. Shuichi's incessant complaining was starting to distract him from the task 'at hand.' "Shu-kun, who cares? That's why they're Americans and we're Japanese. Now shut up, I'm getting close and you keep distracting me."

The smaller boy looked over at his long-haired friend. Hiro's fist moved in a blur in his lap and his eyes focused on the magazine as he slowly turned the pages. It was some American made porno magazine called Puritan that Yuji had brought back on his last trip.

Hiro loved American porn. It was totally different than Japanese porn, which was mostly censored. The fact that it was in English didn't matter; the boys had no interest in the printed word. They looked only at the glossy photo spreads.

Hiro hissed through his teeth as an exceptionally explicit page was revealed. He felt eyes watching him but didn't care. He understood what was going on in his best friend's mind, even if said friend didn't. The head student couldn't wait for the day when Shuichi finally figured out why girls held no interest for him. It would make both their lives easier – Hiro would no longer be forced to set up dates that were destined to fail before they even began for his musically-inclined friend. Shuichi would finally have a chance at being happy with someone, not to mention he'd finally get laid. The kid was hornier than hell and even gave Hiro a run for his money.

Shuichi settled down in front of his best friend and mirrored their positions. They sat cross-legged with the magazine between them, pants open and erections in hand. The pink-haired boy loved jerking off with Hiro like this; sitting across from each other let him watch his friend rather than focus on the magazine. He assumed Hiro had no clue, but the red-head was very much aware of where Shuichi's eyes always fell.

On occasion, Hiro would even put on a show for the Nittle Grasper fan, stroking extra slow or moaning loudly. Shuichi would nearly fall apart under the strain and cum almost instantly. It amused Hiro to no end that his friend was so oblivious to his own impulses and desires, but he had decided long ago that Shuichi should come to these realizations on his own and in his own time.

Hiro leaned back against the wall behind him and exposed himself further to Shuichi's scrutiny. The smaller student's faded erection had sprung back to life, and Shuichi was building to his orgasm fast. It surprised Hiro when his friend suddenly stopped and released his grip on his cock. He hoped another bitch-fest wasn't about to begin.

"Hey Hi-kun, this is boring. Let's try something else."

Hiro stopped his stroking and looked Shuichi in the eye. "What did you have in mind?"

The pink-haired boy gnawed on his bottom lip – a sure sign that he was devising something Hiro wouldn't like. What he finally suggested ended up taking them both by surprise.

With a sly smile, Shuichi blurted out, "Let's have sex. I call top!"

Hiro's jaw hit the ground. After a few moments which he used to compose himself, he reached over and whapped his friend across the head.

"Idiot. What makes you think I'd ever let you fuck me?"

Shuichi crawled over and sat next to Hiro, ignoring the fact that they were both still exposed and aroused. Leaning his head on his friend's shoulder, he answered, "It's not like it's real sex. We've seen guys doing it in the movies we have, and it looks at least like it could be fun. More fun than doing this all the time. Look, if you don't like it I'll pull out and we can forget it ever happened."

The smaller boy had turned positively kittenish while stating his case and Hiro admitted to himself that it might be interesting. It had been a few weeks since he'd been with a girl, and he reasoned, if you can't fuck your best friend, who can you fuck?

Shuichi reached over and touched the head of Hiro's cock, swiping the drop of pre-cum at the tip and rubbing it down into the shaft. The red-head leaned back and closed his eyes, letting his friend stroke him for a few minutes.

Considering the proposal further, Hiro mused that if nothing else, it at least had the promise of being an interesting experience. Maybe it would even wake Shuichi up a bit to his own sexual identity.

Hiro wrapped his arm around his best friend and pulled him closer. "Look, as long as we never, EVER speak of this again, I'm willing to give it a try. So since you're in charge, what do you want me to do?"

The smaller boy leaned in and closed his eyes. It was obvious he was asking for a kiss. Hiro placed his hand on Shuichi's chest and pushed him back. "Hey, I said I'd let you fuck me, I never agreed to let you make out with me. Move on."

"Um, but I thought you were supposed to kiss before sex?" Shuichi's eyes misted over a bit, and Hiro softened.

"Fine, fine. Come here." Pulling his best friend back into his arms, Hiro leaned down and pressed their lips together. It wasn't their first kiss, although they had shared their first kisses with one another many years earlier. Opening his lips, Hiro let Shuichi's tongue slip inside and explore. He counted backwards from twenty, and when he reached zero, the red-head pulled away. "Okay, what's next?"

Shuichi set a record for pulling his pants down to his knees faster than anyone else in history. He moved into an upright kneeling position and pushed Hiro away from him. "Pull down your pants and turn around."

Hiro played along. He tugged his school pants and boxers down to his knees and turned away from Shuichi. A small hand touched his back and pushed him down until he was positioned on his hands and knees. That hand then moved lower to ghost across his ass and between his legs, placing light tickling touches on his balls and cock. Already this felt better than when he slept with a girl. Girls were always so rough when they handled him, but Shuichi knew that a soft touch was better. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Wow Hi-chan. You have a really hairy ass. I don't think my ass is this hairy."

Looking over his shoulder, Hiro glared at his idiot friend. "Shuichi, you really are virgin, aren't you."

The smaller boy stuck out his tongue in defiance and continued exploring his friend's body. He took his time running his fingers over all of Hiro's muscles, tracing the crease in his ass down to his entrance. He pressed a finger against the ring of muscle and wiggled it inside. Shuichi was enjoying himself, and couldn't stop panting and gulping the air. His eyes were glazed over and he felt a little dizzy.

Hiro didn't know if he liked the way that felt, but Shuichi was being so adorable. He was extremely turned on and excited, so the red-head decided to step up their games a little. "Um, Shu-kun, I think you're supposed to be wet before you try to fuck me. Want me to suck you a bit first?"

"Unngh, yeah, sure." This was to be a first for the amateur singer. He'd never had anyone's mouth on his cock, and he found himself getting overexcited at the prospect.

Hiro turned around and pushed his friend down to the floor. After settling between Shuichi's legs, he reached out and stroked the boy's cock a few times, licking the head like a lollipop. He knew he liked it when girls licked him like that, so he assumed the same would be true in this case.

Shuichi's eyes were glazed over and he reached out to tickle Hiro's ear. It had been just a few licks, and already he was panting wildly. Groaning loudly, he watched as that wet mouth lowered down onto him, sucking in the head of his cock, and then slowly moved down the shaft and…

Hiro's mouth was filled with jets of hot cum and his ears with the sound of Shuichi crying out within seconds of taking his friend into his mouth. He pulled back fast and spit the bitter tasting stuff out onto the ground. Watching as his friend continued to cum, Hiro started to get pissed.

Shuichi's body slumped forward once the last of his orgasm ended. "Damnit Shuichi! What the hell is your problem? That was fucking disgusting! And you better keep your voice down! We're in school, remember?" Hiro continued spitting. He hated the taste of cum. Girls joked that it was an acquired taste, but after getting it shot down his throat like that, he wondered how anyone would willingly swallow the stuff.

When the pink-haired boy snapped back to reality, he was mortified. "I'm sorry Hiro! I didn't mean to cum like that! I promise! I'll be hard again in a second. In the meantime, let me suck you to make up for it."

Shuichi didn't give him any time to respond before he shoved Hiro back and dove into the red-head's lap, swallowing down his cock.

"Nrrgh!" Hiro's eyes rolled back in his head as his best friend deep throated him. He had no idea Shuichi could do that! "Fuck! Where did you learn to do that? WHY did you learn to do that?"

Shuichi mumbled something around the cock in his mouth. When it became obvious that Hiro wouldn't be able to understand a word said, he pulled back and repeated, "I don't know. I saw some chick doing it in a porn and thought it was cool. So I practiced with a cucumber until I could do it too."

Hiro pressed his friend's head back down into his lap until he was completely buried in his mouth again. "Yeah, well don't go telling anyone you know how to deep throat cock. It's not a skill most guys aspire to learn."

Shuichi snapped his head back and answered, "Well, you seem to like it quite a bit." Hiro's face was contorted and he was rubbing the underside of his dick. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You scraped me with your teeth is what's wrong. Watch it!"

The smaller boy smiled coyly. "Sorry Hi-chan. Lemme make it better." Shuichi leaned back in and kissed and licked Hiro's cock, drawing gasps and moans from the red-head. He was already hard again, but loved the feel of his friends cock in his mouth and the musky clean scent surrounding him, so rather than move on to the next part, he continued with the blow job.

"Your cock tastes really good Hiro. And I like the way it feels in my mouth."

"Then don't stop sucking." Hiro threaded his fingers through the pink locks, gripping hard to hold Shuichi's head still and stop his talking. What was it going to take to get his friend to figure out he was gay? What straight guy liked the taste of cock?

Once he had a good hold on him, the larger boy started thrusting his hips up into the mouth wrapped around him. He'd never fucked someone's mouth like this before, but knew he liked it and would want it to happen to him with every possible chance from now on.

Shuichi relaxed his throat and tried to take it all in. This was very different from sliding a vegetable down your throat, and he felt himself start to panic a little. He found it more and more difficult to breathe, and his throat started to close up making him choke.

The red-head didn't even notice the thrashing in his lap. He just kept sinking his cock into that hot sheath. Gods! It felt amazing!

When Shuichi realized his struggles were being ignored, he did the only thing he could think of to get Hiro's attention. He closed his jaw a bit and let his teeth scrape across the skin.

"I'M GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

Shuichi backed up and put one had out in protection, while the other grasped at his throat as he coughed. "Fuck you! Are you trying to kill me? That hurt!"

Hiro saw the drool and pre-cum trailing down Shuichi's face and realized his choking was real. Reaching out, the red-head apologized. "Guess I was a little overzealous. Look at it this way. You suck cock so good I could barely control myself. At least you know you can always pleasure guys!"

Shuichi's face dropped. "What? What makes you think I have any interest in guys. I just wanted to try having sex with you, not 'guys.' Are we gonna do this or not?"

Hiro laughed a bit and rubbed the slight irritation on his cock. "Yeah, fine. But this time you get your own cock wet. I don't want you cumming in my mouth again."

The smaller boy spit into his hand and began spreading it on his length.

"Dude, no way. That's not enough," Hiro pointed out. "Use the liquid hand soap. Can't hurt, right?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Shuichi stood and hobbled over to the sinks, putting enough soap in his hand to wash a small car. Hiro laughed as he watched him slather it on. The handsoap was the same color as his friend's hair. "Now you match above AND below!"

The pink boy scowled as he hobbled back to Hiro's side. "Very funny. You ready yet?"

Hiro turned over and got on his hands and knees. "Fuck away!"

Shuichi knelt down behind him. He was so hard it was painful, but the scenes in the gay porns they had watched kept running through his head. "Um, maybe I should rim you first. They always do that in the movies."

Turning around to look behind him, Hiro answered, "You put your tongue anywhere near my ass and I'll deck you."

"Ok! Fine! Whatever! Don't complain when this doesn't work then!" Positioning his cock at Hiro's entrance, Shuichi began to press hard, trying to slide inside. "Wow you're tight. It's never like that in the porns. They just stick it in and start fucking."

Hiro gritted his teeth. This did NOT feel good. Maybe it would once Shuichi got inside him, but right now it felt like he hadn't eaten enough vegetables in the past week. He took a deep breath and pressed back with his muscles, trying to open himself to his friend's cock. "I don't think this is gonna work," he moaned.

"Hang on another second, I'm almost there!" Shuichi decided to throw caution to the wind and snap his hips forward hard. He ended up knocking both Hiro and himself to the ground, sinking his cock in about half way.

The red-head stuffed the palm of his hand in his mouth to muffle his scream. After all, they were still in the school and had to keep quiet. "Uhhhh, it hurts! Did you do it right?"

"Well how the hell would I know? I knew I should have rimmed you first. Want me to pull out and do it?"

"Enough with the rimming! Are you that hot to suck on my ass? FUCK! Just start moving really slow." Hiro's entire body was one large knot. He had tensed up from head to toe, the pain in his ass mounting with each passing second. He felt like he was being split apart.

Sliding in just a little more, Shuichi was in heaven. His fist was never this tight when he jerked off, and even though it hurt a little, for the most part it felt amazing. He pulled out, to which Hiro let out a long sigh of relief.

Hiro hoped that Shuichi had already cum and was done. He was not enjoying this at all. Instead of continuing to pull out, his best friend began to slide back into him, stretching his already sore insides. He could feel the excess soap dripping down his legs. It was wet, cold and slimy, and didn't help to keep him in the mood.

Shuichi slid deeper in this time, continuing to press forward in the hopes of getting his cock in all the way to the base. He gripped Hiro's hips in a bruising hold, moaning and huffing through the pleasure.

"Shu, please, cum already. It really hurts!" Hiro was in a lot of pain. How could guys do this and enjoy it? Right now, all he wanted was for his best friend to pull out of him.

The pink-haired boy wasn't able to sink himself in completely. He felt like the head of his cock was meeting some kind of strong resistance. Wondering if it was like when you took a girl's virginity, he decided to plunge into Hiro one more time. Pulling almost completely out, he snapped his hips forward and slid in completely.

"OW OW OW OW! FUCK! PULL IT OUT! GET OFF ME!" Hiro scrambled forward, dislodging Shuichi's cock completely. His ass was throbbing with pain and he spun around to face his friend, moving his entrance out of fucking range.

Shuichi's eyes were wide with panic. "Oh Gods, Hiro! I'm sorry! Did I break you? I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just in the porn…"

Interrupting him, Hiro moaned, "Forget the stupid porns. Those guys must do something first that we don't know about. That really hurt. I'd say this was a total failure." Hiro placed his finger against his entrance. He expected to see blood when he pulled it away, but instead, only pink soap coated his fingers.

"Dude," he continued. "Let's just pretend this never happened. I'm gonna get dressed and go home. There's no way I can play basketball this afternoon."

Shuichi held back his tears. He never meant to hurt Hiro, and now he was afraid their friendship was ruined. Luckily, Hiro knew his best friend better than anyone, and was waiting for the tears.

"Hey, just cause this didn't work doesn't mean you should turn on the waterworks. Chill out Shu-chan. I really think we were doing something wrong. If you ever figure it out, let me know."

"You mean maybe we can try again some time?"

Hiro smiled. "Sure, if you don't get stolen by someone first."

Shuichi wiped away a single tear and smiled. "Good, cause I actually didn't hate it. But I'm really sorry I hurt you. Did any of it feel good?"

Standing still for a moment, Hiro thought out his answer. "Actually, that was a pretty amazing blow job. If I wasn't so sore right now, I'd ask you to finish it. You have a talent for sucking cock. What a thing to be proud of." Laughing, the red-head finished dressing and picked up his bag.

"Hey! I bet that talent would please quite a few girls as well!" Shuichi wiped the soap from his cock and dressed, grabbing the magazine off the floor. He held it out to Hiro.

"Nah, you hold onto it for me Shu-kun. I'll come over your house tomorrow and we can finish looking through it."

Watching the door close behind Hiro as he left the room, Shuichi leaned back against the wall and slumped down to the ground. That was the most amazing thing he'd ever done. Too bad Hiro couldn't come over later tonight, so that maybe they could try again then.

Unfortunately, he had to work after school and wouldn't get home until very late. The aspiring artist decided he would cut through the park on his way home, knowing it would shorten his trip a little. Stuffing the porno magazine into his bag, his eyes fell on his newest set of lyrics.

Shuichi pulled the page out and read it over, not happy with the way the words were flowing yet. He also had to work on a title. "Rage Force. Rage Rhythm. Damn."

Stuffing it back in his bag, he ran out into the hall. Third period was well underway, and he had less than three minutes to make it to the classroom before he was marked absent. Again. Down the hall, he could see Hiro walking towards the exit slowly. He was limping slightly, and Shuichi didn't know if he should laugh or wince in sympathy. Deciding he'd call his best friend later to apologize, he stormed through the classroom door.

"Sorry I'm late, Sensei."

owari

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this!

Big thanks again to AshCat :-D

Much love!  
ffpanda


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